The Teary Process

The thing about tears is that they are difficult to hold back ! We are at the brink of almost breaking down - for whatever reason but it takes a lot to not let them roll down.

Scientifically -
Tears flow from tear glands into your eyes through tiny tear ducts. The tear glands are located under your upper lids, and when stimulated, produce tears to form a thin film over your eyeballs. Every time you blink the film spreads over your eyes to keep them moist and free of dust and other irritants. Whether you are awake or asleep, happy or sad, this salty fluid is always flowing from the tear glands.
Besides protecting your eyes, the tear glands produce more fluid when your eyes are irritated. These extra tears are called irritant tears.
And, when something makes you happy or sad, your tear glands will produce emotional tears. Used tears then drain down into two tiny openings on the brim of your upper and lower eyelids at the inner edge of your eyes, which lead to the nasolacrimal tear ducts next to the bridge of your nose. If there are too many tears, they will overflow your lower lid and run down your cheeks.

Chandler claims it is extremely difficult and almost impossible for him to cry like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz. My mother finds it extremely difficult to shed tears. My sister; well she can cry at the drop of a hat ! I cry watching Pooja telling Rahul that she loves him; Grey's Anatomy episodes; Robin and Ted in their up and down relationship; Marley dying; etc ! I howled when Monica, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Chandler and Phoebe placed their keys at the kitchen counter and left the Purple apartment. Forever !

Crying they say is a cathartic process. Just like cooking or writing. It brings out the bottled emotions and helps you feel better. Feel lighter. True only.

There are times when you want to cry - big big tears. You're choked up. But you just cannot. Then ? Well, you try. Ask a friend to narrate a sad story. Watch P.S I Love You. Imagine a horrible/sad moment from the past !

People cry when they are sooper happy too. Well I did. Can you blame me - ShahRukhKhan just held my hand and kissed the air I was breathing. I can laugh and laugh with the ponjees and tummy will hurt but tears will also come ! Sometimes looking at the beauty around you can bring tears to your eyes. You will be speechless but those droplets of water say it all !

And the best part about crying is that you will always have someone to share those tears with you. No matter what the "distance" or what technology you use - nobody cries alone :)

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References :

• Frey, William H. and Lanseth, Muriel. Crying, the Mystery of Tears. Minneapolis: Winston Press, 1985.
• Kapit, Wynn and Elson, Lawrence M. The Anatomy Coloring Book. NY: Harper and Row, 1977.

Missings...

Is happening for -

1. School. I miss wearing a uniform. Carrying a bag with books. Having homework. Annual days and talent shows. Canteen visits. Being a prefect. Tying pigtails. Summer vacations. Birthday parties. Return gifts. I miss being a kid. Worry - less !
2. Banana Split sessions. Walking all around the city and finally sharing the sundae. Anytime and anywhere.
3. Shawarmas. The succulent meat with the best garlic paste ever. The family dinners of falafel, shawarmas and pickles.
4. Laban. Nothing in this world can come close to how important a position it has had in my life.
5. 15th Floor. 1501.
6. Karama Center. LuLu Supermarket. Sunrise Supermarket.
7. The days when mobile phones didn't control our existence.
8. Gujarati Love. Gujju food. Baroda. Old friends !
9. Superman and the Foosa. It was a happy time.
10. Living with the girls in a mad house that always had something going on. Day and night. Sharing clothes and footwear. Commercial street visits. Trips. Crying and laughing and cursing.
11. Watchman uncle and Vijayamma. Integral part of my college life.
12. Playing X Files X Files and Teacher Teacher.
13. Bike rides to unknown destinations.
14. Muscat. The beautiful beaches. Mountains. The fights and sleepovers with Sycosis. I want it back !
15. Getting up 10 minutes before a class and then having an egg puff or samosa for breakfast.
16. Popsies and Kairali and Lecafe lunches.
17. Waiting at the island for "hours" till they decided to come off.
18. Fighting with the crazy Shur about anything and everything. Refusing to forgive him. Giving him long lectures. Sending and receiving silly/crazy messages especially "k". Finally, just being apart !
19. Kiki's gallery. Birthday surprises and secret meetings.
20. Celebrating the 13th of every month. Eating. Always.
21. Late night conference calls.
22. Ladies night at The Beach.
23. Planning for a Goa trip.
24. The days when we didn't need Facebook to keep in touch and stalk. All it took was a missed call !
25. Miss ice rink madness.
26. Swimming and staying back for the practices !Squash after school.
27. Noise - free traffic situations.
28. Being able to get into size "s" or "m" t - shirts. Without feeling yuckie.
29. Hum Paanch, Banegi apni baat, Happy days, Small Wonder, MASH, ER, Hip Hip Hurray.
30. Noida house. Atta Market. CP. Dilli Haat. GK.
31. PJ sleepover parties !
32. Daddy
33. The time when there was no confusion. Life was simpler. Uncomplicated. So much thinking didn't have to be done. The time when I didn't know how to analyze and dissect !

*Sigh*

Person !

The love of my life. My person.
6 years younger than me.

My baby and my favourite scholar !

When she was born I knew that I finally found myself a lifelong fighting buddy, best friend and partner in crime. As insecure as I was because of all the attention showered on her; I knew that no matter what I would always hold the highest position in her life.
She has taught me to be assertive, strong, cunning ! She has seen me through my achievements and failures. She has cheered me the loudest when I created history. During my cravings - she has given me company.

I'm told by her how I should treat the men in my life. She appreciates and applauds my cathartic cooking sessions.
While sleeping - she is my Hugsy pillow. She would hold my hand; use the un - warm part to sleep peacefully.
She is my prettiest princess and my yummy strawberry cheesecake.

I worry that she might get carried away by the craziness around her. But, I know she has her feet firmly in the ground and high/mighty goals to push her !

Her looking upto me is what makes me better each step I take. Her support and "conditional" love is what gets me by !

Unlike me she doesn't let people and experiences affect her negatively. She wouldn't crib about hand - me - downs. Ever.

We fight and we yell. She would bite and I would slap. She would throw things in the room. I would bang doors. She would stamp her feet. I would give her the silent treatment. Yet, we drool over Patrick Dempsey, Imran Khan, SRK together. We cry during Gilmore Girls and laugh at Sheldon - together.
And secrets - well, she can keep mine. Me - hmmm ! I tend to spill. A little. Sometimes ;-)

She is my Person. Always will be ! Despite the time constraints and school regulations - we talk as often as possible. She gets me. I don't ! She loves me. I do too !

As she turns 17 - I pray and hope that an Almighty shower the choicest blessings on her. May all her dreams come true. Most importantly to keep her safe and healthy.

With all my love forever and ever !

Sometimes We're Real Close Friends,
we Stay Up Late And Talk At Night

other Times We Don't Get Along,
there Are Even Times We Fight

but I Know She's Always There
and I Know She'll Always Care

she's My Sister, I Love My Sister

i've Given Her A Great Big Hug
when She Was Feeling Sad

but Then Again I've Said Some Things
that Have Really Made Her Mad

but I Know She's Always There
and I Know She'll Always Care

she's My Sister, I Love My Sister

but I Know She's Always There
and I Know She'll Always Care

she's My Sister, I Love My Sister
she's My Sister, I Love My Sister

Happy Birthday Tanzi Banzi !

Sisters for the Soul !

Someone is holding my hair back. The other is wiping my tears. Another is just laughing. For a second, while I was trying not to faint due to the exhaustion of emptying my insides, I'm grateful - for that I have them in my life !

My Girlfriends.

Whether it's sharing of clothes, footwear, food, money, accessories, stories, gossip; nothing beats the relationship and bond between a set of girls. Every time a memory surfaces - the first day at school/college, first boyfriend/fling, first kiss, first heartbreak, first graduation, first success story, first failure, first accident, first night out - what stands out is the umpteen conversations over the phone, through smses, skype, gtalk, BBM, coffee, ice cream, teas; dissecting every word, every expression. These conversations can never be had with a man ! It is about understanding another woman's perspective and knowing that she probably gets what you're saying - sometimes ending in being over concerned for you.

It's a standing joke amongst men - women like to visit the washroom in groups ! At the table - a woman will look across to another woman and ask "You wanna go to the loo?"; Men marvel at how this works especially if two women have just met each other half an hour ago ! It intrigues most men to know what goes on during hours long conversations over the telephone across seas, at shopping spree sessions, washroom encounters, etc !

Women love to chat. Talk. Converse and yes ofcourse Gossip. I call these - story telling sessions. We need to talk. About everything. News about who got married to whom and how. The latest store openings. The latest good looking boy in our lives. The latest break up. The latest mad mental mistakes we are so prone to making all the time. We need to talk about our families, homes, relationships, work, and our angst. We need to vent. One can feel fully and truly staisfied when we know that other woman gets that we are talking about and feeling the same way.

I have very few girlfriends; all over the place. Just enough. I am joined to them by a thread and bond that goes beyond geographical boundaries. We probably don't talk everyday or for weeks and months together - yet we can meet one fine day and begin from where we last left each other. I may not be part of a BBM group chat but I can still send a wall post if I get a craving for chicken ghee roast and know that she wishes she was here. One may not be able to talk to me for days despite being in the same city - yet I know that she worries for me. Trips for weddings and surprise birthday parties will be made. Finally save money and go to Greece as well. We hold each other when we cry over a loss. We laugh at each other's stupidity. We have fought and learnt to let go. We have forgiven and moved on. We have pictures to remind us of how awesome our lives have been because of this sisterhood.

We have codes too !

We will have bridesmaids. We will hold each other's hands during pain because of a tattoo or child birth. We make it a point to not judge. But, to be there in that quiet, strong way !

My girl ponjees are a different dimension to my crazy life. They are the calming and mad aspect of my existence. Our experiences to together, words, advice, hugs helps us sleep better at night.

They are a part of me. They have contributed and continue to contribute in every way possible to make me - Me !

Poochie Love !

Poochies are the only beings capable of unconditional love. When I say unconditional - I mean completely truly without any conditions. No terms. No expectations. Just pure louve.

Clay was a pretty golden retriever. Terry a handsome black lab. Suki was a beautiful and peaceful black Doberman. Muffin was a jumpy white pirate.

They did nothing but bring joy and happiness in our lives. Protected us and gave us the love that we couldn't get from anything or anybody else. They played with us. They supported us in our most miserable states. They laughed with us. We hugged them and slept because we felt cozy. They let us be.

They were our babies. Our sweethearts. They were are best friends.

They are in a better place now ! We miss them and always will !

May you Rest In Peace.

Hugs & Love,

Us.